I went to my buddies house today and watched some movies.  We would have smoked some pot but we are out once again.  I wish he would just listen to me, but since he has done so well on his own he cannot identify the difference between where his ingenuity begins or ends.

 

Anyways my other buddy David (who I grew up with in San Diego) said he has been checking out my blog here and there, and I guess others are too, why am I only a one star sight? ~chuckles~  I guess you really gotta put some numbers up there in replies and shit for Microsoft to pay an attention.  Hell for all they know I could be a professional assassin for the US Government ~snickers~.  But that is cool, someone is reading the daily life of Adam (I AM).

 

Well today was allright other than being out of buds, which always sucks!  I can't believe how fast some people can smoke that shit up ~chuckles~  I guess when it is relatively free the ability to control one's useage must undergo some kind of change?  Oh well at any rate in the next day or two I'll be puffin large again.

 

I am going to go to David's for the Superbowl.  I sure hope Seattle Seahawks kick the crap out of Pittyfulberg...err I mean Pittsburg Steelers.  Seattle sure made Carolina look like a bunch of high school football players ~snickers~....

Well going on the fourth day of the "runs".  I am sure it won't be long now before I am admitted for dehydration, but when nothing stays solid in your stomach and water goes right through, hmmm not a whole lot I can do.  I have just been feeling sick as hell and hoping I don't have another quarter of a century to feel like this or worse.  I am going to move to Oregon where they have "Death with Dignity" laws.  I don't think watching someone widdle away to nothing is a dignified death, of course I don't really want to die.  I just don't want to be sick anymore.

 

Doctors are the worst, if you have ten doctors you will come up with at least four different diagnosis and treatments, which to me, means they really don't know what in the hell they are doing.  It is like a neo-mechanic who can't work on anything without a digital analyzer.  I remember when working on roadsters was a trial and error game.  It was much funner back then and you had to know your P's and Q's.  If you wanted to be the best NASCAR backyard mechanic.  Today all these falootin computerized cars that can't be upgraded without an upgrade CPU chip ~sighs~.  It's definately not the same game, of course if you know what you are doing and can hack into your cars system then you can tweek the car to be what ever you want it too.

 

I don't mind the pain so much, but the sickness has to go.  I hate being sick to my stomach for days on end.  I am sick when I wake up every morning, my antibodies, enzymes and protiens skyrocket, but doctors don't even know what to do with it or how to treat it.  So I guess I will just continue to smoke pot to keep from throwing up every single day.  Then I can get down a bowl of cereal if I'm lucky.

 

So I am still sick as hell, if you don't hear from me for a day or two it probably means I am in the hospital, at least this year has been going much better than last year.  I spent Nov-March last year in and out of hospitals and getting procedures left and right, they can see what is happening to me but they cannot make sense of it.

 

I did get some good news.  My ex-boss Clay Flower.  The guy who fired me after I tried to kick his ass, well apparently he has been stealing from Pizza Pipeline for years.  I don't get it either.  This piece of shit ran two corporate franchises into the ground.  The owners of the corporation gave him a cool ass do nothing job for 50K/year.  All he ever did was cause struggle and strife within the organization.  It is funny that it happened almost seven months from the time I got fired.  It can only mean that The Creator was on my side ~grins~.  Just because of the number 7.  Why would a guy getting so much money (for Spokane) for doing absolutely nothing rip off the hand that fed him?  Dumbasses I guess.

 

Well I guess that is it for today...

Man yesterday really sucked.  I was so sick I couldn't even leave the house.  I think it was food poisoning from a can of Nalley's Jalepeno Chili.  Anyone who's ever seen a chili factory knows how nasty it is ~grins~.  I should of made sure it was cooked all the way, then there would have been no reason to be sick.

 

What really sucks is because I have no immune system to speak of, something like this has a whole different affect on me.  My stomach is hard as a rock because my stomach is trying to explode and the muscles are trying to keep my stomach from blowing.  I have had the "runs" for over 48hrs and should probably go see a doctor and get hydrated.  I don't like doctors though, most of them are a bunch of idiots who sell their soul to pharmecutical companies and HMO's.  Trying to get a diagnosis out of these clowns is like pulling teeth, it's pretty rough ~grins~.

 

Yesterday sucked because I didn't have any Marijuana and nobody was going to bring me any, so the pain in my stomach seemed much worse than it had to be.  I smoked some today and I feel much better and the naseua is gone.  I hate naseua!  I wake up sick everyday and take a hit or two then I can get some cereal, oatmeal, or whatever else I can scrounge up, down the ole gullet.

 

Today I went to the garden and took a little cured bud home, so I will be allright today and tonight, and I don't have to worry about taking them stupid pain-killers.  I like the fact that pot just makes my attention span oblivion ~chuckles~.  It is nice because I don't have to dwell on the pain.  There are some pains that Marijuana doesn't affect at all, but for now it's working good enough for me ~smiles~.

 

I love to spend the weekend with my family, but my wife likes to sleep a lot ~sighs~.  We don't have a lot in common anyways ~chuckles~  We come from two different worlds, but it has worked out great for 13yrs now ~smiles~.  We have both been able to change and keep the love alive.  I see a lot of people who can't stay married, oh well I am glad I only have to worry about myself ~smiles~.

 

I don't remember if I wrote anything yesterday?  I was really ill.  I still am, but a bit better than yesterday ~cheers~.  I know my doctor is going to tell me no more beer soon, as my kidneys' keep wanting to shut down.  I really love my buds and my suds, but I would like to see me live a bit longer ~chuckles~.

 

Oh well love you all...

Well I am back to normal pretty much.  I was really sick for the last few days and bleeding quite a bit.  The blood has slowed way down and I am back on track.  This is very good ~grins~

 

Art came over for a shower today then we went to his house.  It was a nice morning to wake and bake!  This was actually the first day where I didn't take a hit and fall right to sleep.  Marijuana seems to have a symbiotic relationship to the human body by telling it what it needs.  I have often hypothesized that the "munchies" is the bud talking to the body, but being humans we can't understand the subtleties and just shove whatever we can find down our throats until our body is full or has received what it has asked for.

 

We did clones and moved some veggies to the flowering room.  Then we watched this movie called the four brothers.  It was actually pretty cool.  then I came home, so other than freezing with my daughter at the bus stop all is good and it has been a normal day, which is good...

I started a community on MSN and sent out some invitations to my mom and my cousins Kristy and David.  I will need my mom's help because she is the keeper of everyones information ~chuckles~.  I hope in the next few weeks we can get some people logged on.  People don't even have to visit the site if they don't want to, because you can have the group email sent straight to your own email.  We will have pictures and stuff on the sight.

 

I have been taking it easy since the trip.  I started bleeding big time but resisted going to the hospital, because I really don't like doctors that much.  I am getting better.  My tongue swelling has gone down and my blood seems to be drying up ~cheers~.  Next time I'm taking a plane.

 

I am just doing some laundry, cleaning, and watching movies with Mariah.  Frodo from Lord of the Rings is my duaghter's boyfriend ~chuckles~.  I am already getting grey hair!  Oh well what can you do?  You hope you raise them right and they go in the right direction.~smiles~...

I was very sick yesterday.  I would imagine since all the stress finally released from my mind and body it did as it always does, shut my system down.  My tongue was very swollen and I couldn't even hardly swallow anything, so today I decided that my body needed to sleep and destress.  I slept all day long.

 

Julie had been trying to get a hold of me all day.  she had neighbors try and come over to see how I was.  She couldn't get a hold of me all day, so with everything that is going on she thought the worst.  When she came in the room I started to wake up, but I could tell she didn't want to come any closer for fear I was dead, so I asked her what's up, and then she was relieved and told me she had been trying to get ahold of me all day.

 

So Julie is making pancakes for dinner and we have Malachi walk Corry home.  Then we couldn't find Mariah.  We looked for 5-10min.  And then started getting panicky.  After about ten or more minutes I see Mariah come out of her room giggling and just thinking she pulled the wool over our eyes.  Well I guarantee she won't ever do that again because that is the first time I have ever really whacked on her ass with a plastic spoon.  I told her she better come next time I @#$@#%$# call her!  So now I just took a dose of stress that the doctors are trying to keep me from having, I wonder how I will feel tomorrow?

 

Seahawks played an awesome game and I am hoping that they will annihlate the Steelers in the Super Bowl.  They made Carolina look like a bunch of high school players ~snickers~.

Damn!  What a long ass drive to Las Vegas and back to Spokane, Washington.

 

Granpa's Funeral was nice.  The Reverend even cried.  I was alright, I was the anchor for my mom, but when I saw my mom and Aunt Sherrie cry, it started my water works.  What got us all was the fact that my Grandpa fought in WW2, so it was at the Veterans Memorial Site.  We are were all holding together pretty well until the two young soldiers did TAPS.  My mom got the flag.  I now know why my mother is the beautiful person she is ~smiles~.

 

I loved my Grandpa very much and he is one of the few people in my life that I never been angry with.  I think this says something about a person's character.  How many people can say they haven't pissed me off?  Not many ~grins~.  Before we left this morning Jeff, Vance and I went to the trailer.  We both wanted a small piece of Grandpa, and something that meant a lot too him.  Jeff got his NAVY hat with the pins and stuff, I got one of Grandpa's Harmonicas'.  Grandpa taught Jeff and I early on to play the Western songs on the harmonica.  I played the harmonica for seven straight hours today, poor Jeff had to listen too it.  I got TAPS, Streets of Lorado, El Paso memorized farily well ~smiles~  Not that I would forget Grandpa, I now will remember him everytime I play the instrument.

 

I asked Uncle Vance to give mom all the pictures, because she has a will to keep memory sakes/pictures.  My mom is after all the glue that helps keep our extended families together.  And she has the largest photo collection by far!

 

The drive down was 20hrs, but it didn't seem so long because we only drove 12hrs and was stopped by a blizzard.  They shut down the town of Jackpot because of blizzard conditions.  We were tired anyways and couldn't see the road, so Jeff and I got a hotel room.  Also for me, the anticipation of seeing long hidden relatives who I haven't seen in 20yrs.  It is sad that we only get together when someone gets married or dies ~sighs~.  Most of use just dont' have the financing, but I say make the time!!!  We only got a few short years left and our family isn't getting any bigger.

 

The ride back was a living hell.  We drove the whole way home.  We left Saturday morning at 8AM and got back to my house in Spokane around 4:30AM  I really wished I could of stayed.  I know mom is going to fall apart as she helps clean out the pictures and Grandpa's stuff.  I told my mom that I didn't go to Las Vegas for Grandpa ~smiles~  Because even though he is not with us on this plane, I know that he is much happier.  Grandpa's little girls are a different though,  That was there Daddy and a damn fine provider he was too.

 

I did hear some bullshit that really pissed me off, but I didn't say anything about it because even I sometimes don't think about what I say before I say it.  While we were at the Buffet I heard some scuttlebutt about how pissed a few poeple were because Vance was getting the wills and the trailer.  Uncle Vance is by no means an angel, and now that Grandma and Grandpa are gone where will Vance find unconditional love?  The only two people who seemingly love him are dead.  Vance is no Angel but I think he is the family scapegoat for many things, and even if he doesn't do something it's just easier to blame him for it ~frowns~  I just hope that someone will see the unconditional love that was bestowed upon Vance and the rest of us by these two beautiful people who reside in the big lounge of afterlife, follow in their examples of never ending love.  Jesus said, That a single sinner (Unawakened) is worth more than all the righteous souls within the Kingdom of God, for what does the Righteous have?  The trumpets rejoice at the Awakening of a sinner's soul."

 

The reason I am mad  is because I am the family scapegoat for my wife's family, and sometimes it really hurts.  There is nothing worse the feeling of being alone, and now Vance is alone ~weeps~  Christ said to forgive 10 to the 49th power and to do good to those you hate, and be kind to your enemies.  I just don't see a lot of this going on.  I never saw Grandma and Grandpa at church and yet they have surpassed a majority of Christians by their actions and not their mouths.  You all can disown Uncle Vance, but Jeff and I will never do that, we will let him "fuck" us over too because I want to live in the memory of two Grandparents that bestowed unconditional love upon all they knew, gentle and forgiving.  If everyone in the world were like them there would be no more wars, no more needless sorrow and pain, no more money, no more status elites.  We could mature as a race and lovingly help each other as much as possible.  How did these two Guardians master their will to control their actions and speech when so seemingly, the rest of the world is in a state of ME-ISM.

 

Steal my money, hurt me, burn down my house and take everything I own, for in reality, in this master illusionary plane, nothing is needed and with my faith, I will end up as I am suppose too, for the more you own the less likely one would be released into the spirit world, materialistic people cannot leave the Earth when they die, and I am not Christian, but I know most of you are, so with that Christ said, "It would be easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to every see the gates of Heaven".  This does not mean every single rich person is going to Exile, but the vast majority will.

 

What this meant before Roman Catholic Church defiled Christ is, that if you place your value (Spiritual/Soul) upon material things, then you will be stuck roaming the Earth forever looking for the things that you assumed brought security, and will not be able to find your way to the Spirit Plane/ Universal Fabric where the ominiptotent force of our Lord resides, one would be lost because their perceptions and their values where merely materialisms, demons bind the lost souls to comsuming the ideas, passions, desires.

 

I am going to go out on a limb here for those who don't really know me, even the ones who have shared my life ~smiles~.

 

I dont' really expect anyone to believe me, and that is fine.  I'm gonna say it anyways! ~smiles~

 

Our world you see  today is merely an illusion, a very real one.  When man was first given intelligence through evolution (yes evolution is part of God's plan) the world was a place of "Milk & Honey"  The magic was strong and true!  Science is Magic in it's most controllable and capitolistic form.  Every emotion, word, action, medication, etc.  Were gifts from the Creator so that we could rule our own lives  with God-Given"FREEWILL"  The definition of that word is each individuals God given ability to make prudent, or not, choices which affect our lives on three different Planes of existance.

 

Think of Spirit Plane as God's Kingdom and Thrown.  Imagine that in the spirit world they can see us as if they were behind a two-way mirror, but most humans are incaple of seeing, or knowing...it is one thing for me to explain something.  It is far more obscure to know and understand my "words".  So the vast majorty of humans cannot see the spirit world, but the Spirit World can see you.  Your mind/soul dwells in a catalyst of flesh.  The soul works as an intermediary between the Material and Spiritual Realms.  It is a common place where meditation and active listening to the three planes can bring about the truth.  We are of Flesh and Spirit, because only Souls(Formative-Creative Transcendance) are allowed to move and see the Spirit World when, and if they Awaken, one cannot see it without the forsaking of flesh, and all that exists on the Material Plane.  The Formative/Medatative allows you to see the spirits and socialize with them, both kinds too.  The Heavenly Sphere and the Shadow Sphere (lost souls).

 

Once you have attained a certain level of Collective Consciousness, gates, docrines, Astral Projection, etc.  The spirit realm will open up and the vessel/cup (flesh) which holds the soul, overfloweth with the grace of God for the understanding and secrets of our universal existance.

 

Ok follow me if you can: I said earlier that we have FREEWILL.  That means no excuses when you go before the Lord of Lords,  because God created us in the image of God's Soul giving us the ability to defeat demons which innately blind the normal unawakened Human.  Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Jewish...all came here to teach man how to transcend the mortal boundaries of the flesh, but man who allows himself to be easily corrupted killed Christ and 325yrs later?  The Roman Catholic Church came into existance.  Without understanding, one cannot see or reach the Spirit Realm.  The demons and devils had the Catholic Church murdered the true origins, so that humanity cannot learn the will to free itself.  The religions of today are an empty shell of demon infested dogmas.  I think it is sad that the Majority of modern Christians will not go immedately to heaven, but will wait until all of humanity is extinct.  "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first".

 

Every word, medication, emotion, action, and even unseen sublime is an actual spirit(s).  It was for these reasons that the saviors of the world came to teach us, but the demons controlled those without freewill and killed all the SAVIORS, so that humans could not acheive heaven.  It is the goal of the Dark Lords to fool and blind humanity with illusions until their soul and thoughts are consumed by the petty control of said Demons.  Let me make and example of how this works ~smiles~

 

EXAMPLE: Let's use the Demon Spirit of Anger.  The Anger Devil gets inside the unawakened and makes them irrational, easily irritated...Once a human feels justified in their Anger, the Evil Spirit calls upon more dark goons now that Anger has entered the Soul...Usually there is a Hiearchy in the Spirit World, except with Demons, they are chaotic and even despise themselves, soon after Anger?  Self-Righteousnes, Arrogance, Conceit.  Have you ever been really pissed off and not know for the life of you why?  Once these demons cling to the Psychic Cord(A spiritual Life-Thread that starts from Nuetral/ Holy Ghost to each living human on the Earth Plane used to take their life: Keys of Life and Death/ Book of Names) I walk in the Spirit World.  I see and understand the Spirit World, and I must be ever vigilent to guard my Psychic Cord/ Portal from the decedance that crawls in the Seas below the seas.  I routinely clean out my Demon Viruses with mediation and sheer will, but if you cannot see them then you are screwed ~sighs~.

 

For simplicity, I will use three definitions which correlate with the number 3 (A Quantumn Mechanic/physic law) The first is the Earth, or the Material Plane.  We come to this world knowing everything about God and the universe, unfortuneately with the cloak of new flesh we are incapable of controlling or understanding the Material Plane.  It takes time to learn how to use the new binding (Flesh) Coo'ing, crawling, walking, etc..  And by the time we are able (Age 7 loss of innocence) to communicate the truth, we have forgetten about God and all life on the Spirit Plane.  By the age of seven Demons and Devils have already widdled their way into the poor child leading them down a road of unknown destination.  This testing grounds, first of the Trinity is the Physical Plane.

 

The next is Formative.  Formative is the sublime esoteric forces of the Spirit World.  All ideas, thoughts, etc. that any Human can have came from the Lord's Realm.  The Lord is neither Good nor Evil and is the symbol of the Yin-Yang.  If God did not hold good and evil together by his very will, a big bang would happen and the fabric of existance as we know would be nil.  Evil emotions, feelings, ambitions, etc are also from the Spirit Plane, but they are from a dark, lonely and can only attack the unawakened human.  So Prayer and other forms of Molecular Manipulation like magic or any other synonyms can move and create God/Mage given protection and insights to the three planes, and the opposite is true.  A Wizard or Priest who knowingly collaborates with dark, or natural sides can amass great material wealth, prestige, power, meglomania and possesses the most powerful rich and political powers.  You would think this evil side would go to "Hell" but that is not true.  When dark body die an evil soul will go to an evil place, which would be their heaven.  A place of backstabbing, coveting, heinous crimes, and maniacal chaotic and premediated actions..  A place where that evil soul will be happy.  If you are good you sit in the Realm with God, Lord of Lord's.  A place of great love, understanding, patience, selflessness, etc.  The "Grey" Wizard who uses whatever demon, magic, angelic, etc. to get the Job done.  The Grey sits on the right hand procession of our Lord and is trained to eventually take over as the Holy Ghost, I AM, the eternal balancer of GOOD and EVIL.

 

The next plane is the Creative Plane.  This Material Plane is a prison.  Humans are imprisoned by the flesh which is inherantly evil , nor awakened.  The Creative Plane is a transitory realm where one can connect to the spirit world through Deprivations, Drugs, Mediation, inspiration, trance, etc.  This realm is the place where Earthly bound awakened Wizards/Priests socialize, learn, teach, listen.  The awakened Soul walks on the Creative Plane at all times and can see, one learns the Quantum Realities that create all actions and reactions of our illusionary fabric weaved by the Holy Ghost. Some people see the truth and it drives them insane, and sends them to sanitariums where they live out their days alone in sheer terror.  When one enters the first Gate/Doctrine/Truth/Teaching/God's Laws, one is battered by realities unbeknownst to them before an awakening.

 

So in a nutshell  for those capable of at least pretending to understand what I am saying...Modern man has allowed so many demons to infest his everyday life that the twisted reality is the one that the unwakened live in.  Devils control the Prime Material Plane (Earth) and have for over 2000yrs or more.  This is where the battle is fought, not in heaven, for heaven cannot fight hell, lest it destroy thineself, and the same goes for GOOD.  If one ever overthrows the Realm of The Holy Ghost.  All existance will be for not.  There are many wizards/priest in this world of all Alignments...GOOD, EVIL, LAW, CHAOS and NUETRAL (This is the Realm of the Holy Ghost, ALLAH, CHRIST, BUDDHA, YWHW.)

 

Now lets look at the number 3 ~smiles~ Let me rattle some things off, maybe you will see something you already know ~smiles~  3 is the Prime Quantum Law.  All things started from immaculate conception of God, which was the Big Bang.  It is not for anyone on this level of Cosmic Rotation to understand the Evolution of God.

 

Number 3: Height, weight, depth...Past, Present, Future...Formative, Creative, Physical...Nuetral, Good, Evil.  If one applies Greek Natural Understanding, then one can see the how the number 3 is utilized and built on the Quantum Law of 3's.  This was also defiled by Orthodox Christians as the Trinity.  The Son, The Father, and the Holy Ghost.  The Son = Jesus (just one messiah out of many), The Father = Lord of the Good Realm, and the Holy Ghost = The Lord of Lords and glue of the universe ~smiles~.

 

Once one has, if you dare?  Become "Awakened" and pass the tests of insanity and hopelessness.  Then one will become an antenna for the Holy Ghost, Lord of Lords, Father of many saviors.  There are 3 paths/spheres of Power with Evil being the lowest, Good coming in a close second, and Nuetral as the Holy Ghost, the balancer of Good and Evil, Chaos and Law.  The manifestation of everything through pure will.

 

I spent a lot of my younger years from the time I was 14yrs of age destroying everything around me, and calling the minions of the Shadow World to do the "Will of Adam"  Let's just say I have been privy to terrible human atrocities, and I had cursed many without the will or consent from God, but I have FREEWILL so I can do that.  There came a time and point after marriage and children when I vanquished a powerful Demon of Hate that I had conjured up to defeat my enemies.  I decided to go Good because I love my wife and kids and want to be able to be with them when we all fade from Earth.  While learning Compassion, Love, Freedom, etc.  I crossed into another gate (I have crossed several more gates than the "Educated" Wizard) and I learned that each Proton and Electron are held together by another force(NUETRON), if not, Nuclear Fussion would happen, so after many decades of mastery and learning I have finally reached newer levels and I am talking to the Holy Ghost routinely. Today I am almost one with the Holy Ghost and hope that I am worthy enough to sit on right of the throne, learning to one day rotate into the Holy Ghost's postion (yeah even omnipotent cosmic plasma Gods get bored of knowing everything all the time.~chuckles~)

 

I know this was very long and it was meant to be, for those who read the whole thing may be blessed with insight, or a yearning to use their FREEWILL and not use the human equation as a crutch.  And if you are fortuneate enough you may someday "Awaken", and once awakened the boundries are endless ~smiles~

 

Everywhere you go, there you are!...

I got my bags packed last night, now all I need to do is shower up and put my shaving kit together.  So I won't be blogging till Monday probably, so I'll seeya all then...

I was surprised when Art came over this morning.  Apparently he had already been to Ziggy's and Home Depot when I was just getting out of bed.  So he took a shower while I cleaned the house up a bit.  Then we went to his house to unload everything he had bought.  We watched movies and smoked most the day away.

 

Then my brother Jeff called and said we are leaving tomorrow morning instead of tomorrow night.  That is cool, I am not working so I can go whenever he wanted to, now we can get some rest, especially if we hit bad weather and have to slow down a bit.  We should be there on Thursday around dinner time.

 

I just talked to Kristy and she said she was flying in for the funeral.  I haven't seen her since we were teenagers.  She lives in the Carolinas' and is married with kids I believe.  I talk to her brother David from time to time as well.  I don't know if he is going to make it or not.

 

Jesus Fucking Christ, as if I don't have enough on my plate with trying to keep my stress level low so I dont' eat my own organs, and my fucking wife calls to bitch at me about what an imposition it is on our family that my Grandpa died.  I am sure she is just being a bitch because she has to work all day, like I need this shit now!  It's a fucking double standard and if someone doesn't shape up I am probably going to go ballistic and do something that will only further fuel the situation.

 

What pisses me off is we made a deal and all I was taking was $100.00.  I don't gamble but will need money for food, beer, hotel, etc.  A hundred dollars doesn't go far, so I am sure I will be hungry for part of the trip.  It's a damn good thing I am fat, perhaps I'll lose some weight.  Now that she is low on money it's becoming an issue ~sighs~.  Like my momma use to always write "Money is the root of all evil, and women need deep roots" ~snickers~ Oh how true, how true.

 

Like I want to go to a depressing ceremony and see people  I love saddened ~sighs~.  The only reason I am going there is for my mom, so she knows that I love her and Grandpa.  Like I need any more stress in my life...

I went over to help my friend Art take thirty-four slabs of "Wonderboard" back to Home Depot.  That crap was terrible on me.  I am 40yrs old for God's sakes.  My back is killing me now ~chuckles~.  Well at least we got it done.  His room is almost done with the wood flooring we just need to buy a little more wood.  All it needs now is the trim laid down and transitions/thresholds pulling it all together.

 

Well finally got some good dry bud again.  I was smoking some bud shake for the last couple days.  It worked all right.  It didn't last long or work great, but good enough so that I could go through my day without thinking about how much f'ing pain I am in.  I'd rather lose my memory than feel sick or in pain all the damn time ~chuckles~. 

 

How come Rastafarians can't practice their religion in a country that promotes freedom of religion?

 

Ok well I am home now and I need to sweep, mop and do some dishes.  I may come on later and post again, and then again, I may not ~grins mischeviously~...

I got up this morning and went to my garden while the wife and kids went to church.  That sounds funny huh? ~chuckles~.

 

Then my buddy and I went and replaced a bunch of linoleium for some interlocking wood floor panel.  He was mad at me because I told him to go that route in the first place ~chuckles~.  So now his bedroom is full of wonderboard that he really doesn't need now that he is puting the wood flooring down.  Oh well I have done the same thing before, so I guess it happens to all of us when we get excited about a product or project without fully utilizing any and all resources around one's self ~smiles~.

 

Took a nap today which was nice.  Julie made Bacon and Pancakes (whole wheat of course).  I ate lots of yummy bacon.  Watched a little football and now I am watching the Ekanuba.  Just finished with the Terrier and now they are doing the Herding dogs. It's live on the Animal Planet Channel. I saw my old sheep dog on there.  When I get a house I am buying the biggest Rotweiler they make.  Art has one and I just love the shit out of that dog.  Since Rascal has gone I sure miss the relationship of man and dog.  I use to walk a lot more when I had Rascal.

 

David's Sheperd died.  Her name was Xena and she was a very nice loving family dog.  It seems weird going over to Davids and not getting pummeled by both dogs.  I know poor Tara had to be lonely.  Xena raised Tara.

 

I think we are getting pizza tonight from Papa Murphy.  Julie just called she is at Papa Murphy's ~snickers~.  We really can't afford to eat out, but we'll go crazy if we don't get to spend any kind of money ~chuckles~.  We have "Revenge of the Sith" to watch tonight.  It has been a nice weekend.  It was getting so crazy around the holidays I never got to see my family.  I was starting to get pissed off and put a stop to it, but everything worked out this weekend.

 

I tell you it's hard to clean house and stare at the same four walls all the time.  It's almost like a prison sentence.  Will I ever get out! ~chuckles~.  I don't mind and my friend who is in a wheelchair, we spend a lot of time together to, so it's not so bad.  I just want to be with my family ~smiles~.

 

Art and David are going to pick me up tomorrow.  We got to trade in a bunch of that wonderboard for some other kind of board that is better and cheaper, so we will be doing more lifting tomorrow back and forth ~chuckles~.  So I will be doing a little work tomorrow.  I try and help my buddy Art out as much as I can cause he is in a wheelchair, hates his life, and can be just plain ole angry sometimes, but he is one of the coolest people I ever met, and I am damn lucky to have spent time with him.  He thinks he might not be around much longer, but the doctors told him he would be dead by 12 and he is 32 ~snickers~.  Just one more bit of proof doctors are dumbasses.

 

Well that is about the jist of it for today...

Matthew came over and watched the Seattle - Washington game.

 

The wife made these yummy enchiladas, as usual.  She is a damn fine cook these days.  It didn't happen over night but you can tell by looking at me I am not starving ~chuckles~.  She also made some Garlic - Avacado dip for the corn chips.  That too was deliciouso as Dora the Explorer would say.

 

Well when the game first started I was like please don't do what you did last year, catch the ball this year ~chuckles~.  Seeing Alexander knocked out of the game was not making me happy either.  It seemed like Seahawk injuries were happening on every play ~sighs~.  In the second half they came alive.  When the ball was dropped and the Redskins had it on Seahawks 8yrd line they were not allowed to get into the inzone.  They were forced to a mere 3pts.  Seahawks finally pulled their heads out and started playing some real ball without the super stars ~smiles~.

 

I do have to say though Alexander has a damn good attitude and seems to be a fine person.  He seems sincere about wanting to be a better teammate, husband, etc.  I like what one of his teammates said about him.  That training camp is just a neccesary evil that Alexander must go through.  Some people are born to play a certain position or role, and Alexander seems to fit the Tailback shoes very well.  28 touchdowns Alexander had in regular season with 1,888yrds rushing.  That is phenomenial!

 

I had a good time with family, had a damn good lunch.  The wife is taking an hour nap and I am on the computer drinking beer ~smiles~.

 

Until my next post...

I went over to Art's house earlier today to help out with the construction work we are doing, but he had too many people there already.

 

They used Killz to get rid of the dog piss smell that had seeped into the carpets and the wood.  That stuff really works for sealing in odors.  They were caulking and laying the baseboard for the tile.  It should look pretty cool when it is all done.  The tile is being laid today and we need to let that set for 24hrs before we start the grout, and then we have to keep the grout wet for 48hrs so that it can set up.

 

Dave has been doing a really nice job caulking and painting the ceiling.  It's amazing what a cool person he is when he is not drunk.  It's almost like Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hide ~chuckles~.  They ordered a new stove for the house, so everything is looking up.

 

Matthew should be here in an hour or so.  We are going to watch the Seahawks game.  I hope they win!

 

more later perhaps...

Well I guess Art and his wife got a flat tire at the Grocery Outlet after dropping me off at home.  Art was going to come over and take a shower this morning, so when he didn't show up I called and found out what was going on.

 

We are suppose to buy a crapload of backing for tile his floors.  That stuff is heavy heavy heavy.  I didn't know that he wanted me to help him today.  My house needs to be really cleaned every two days at least.  I got laundry and stuff to catch up on because some poeple need to change their clothes every five minutes, namely Mariah.

 

Mariah has this new kick.  She calls it her fashion ~chuckles~  She likes taking clothes and wearing them really wierd, she likes to take sweaters and tie the sleeves up so she has a strapless shirt on ~sighs~.  It's bad enough Mariah had to fall on the sex sign of Scropio, but did she really have to be a girl? ~chuckles~.

 

I can't wait till she starts daiting at thirty ~snickers~ Ok ok probably more like sixteen.  When her boyfriends come over I'll be watching serial murder shows and cleaning my gun.  And then I will ask him if he wants to doink my daughter, and if he says no I will run him out.  Nothing worse than a liar.  If he says yes, then we have some parameters we can discuss like what he won't be doing to my daughter ~grins evilly~  Oh Mariah is going to be a handful.  At two years of age Frodo was her boyfriend.  It took us a while to teach her Frodo is not real.

 

Matthew is coming over tomorrow.  We are going to watch the Seahawk game.  I sure hope they beat the crap out of the Redskins, because last time they didn't do so well against them.  I have only been going for Seattle since they became an NFC team.  Now that my team is out, I am going for the home team ~chuckles~.

 

I have been feeling pretty ill lately, but I feel good today.  First time this week.  I don't mind the pain so much because I am use to being in excruciating pain almost everyday, but the sickness kills me.  I hate being sick!!!  Especially when there is nothing I can do about it ~sighs~.  Thank God for Marijuana because it gives me an appetite, last time I got sick like this I lost sixty-five pounds in two months.  That is not good, but I was working last year which made it especially hard because of the stress that work and life naturally bring out.

 

Hopefully we'll have some dry bud by the time I need to go to Las Vegas.  We are doing pretty good actually and staying within the limits of the law, and since we both need it we can double the amount that is recommended to keep from going to jail.  I think they mostly want the dealer/growers people who are making money off of it and not giving America her taxes.  We don't sell and we don't have enough plants to be considered a grower/dealer.  These reccomendations have been handed down from the medical establishment to find a fair amount of Marijuana for our maladies.  Right now it is seven vegging plants, three flowering, 3oz. on sight and 1oz on your person, so technically we can have 14 veg, 3 bloom, but still only 3oz. on site and 1oz. off site.

 

Ok well I guess I am done spewing.  I'm gonna go call my mommy and see how she is holding up ~smiles~.

I went to Art's today and he wasn't home.  With the way the last few days have been going who knows what the hell could be going on, so I left Mariah and Grandma's house before I went to Art's.  Art isn't answering the door, the phone or anything else, finally I call his wife's cell phone to leave a message and Art picked it up.

 

He is with Dave and they are running to walmart looking for a pet transport cage for another one of their retarded wrinkle dogs.  I guess Dave is paying for a new stove for Art, which is way cool considering the crazy man he was the other day.  So everything is nice and calm today.

 

David is a real cool guy when he is not on the sauce.  Liquor just makes him an asshole.  He has a lot of reasons for being as angry as he is, but it will not change the past and only furthers the destruction of any future he may have.  I sure hope it all works out for the guy.

 

We watched Transporter2 and Predator vs. Alien and drank some St. Pauli Girls.  It feels good to be alive again.  Yesterday was not a good day.  I was sick and in lots of pain with blood coming out of my lungs and stomach.  I don't mind the pain as much as I do the sickness.  I just want to throw up all the time.  I can't trust doctors, they just want to shove you through and stick something up your ass and call it good ~sighs~.

 

Well guess I should go clean up the house a bit before the wife gets home.  I can't have her coming home to a dirty house ~smiles~.

I got a bunch of extra stuff done today.  Like mopping the floor and extra cleaning.  Today is much more tranquil than yesterday ~smiles~.  I still have some laundry to put away and fold but everything else is looking good.  I got to some peoples houses and I can't believe how they live, even though I use to live like a pig at one time ~chuckles~.

 

Well guess I'll go get r' done and find out where that little mischevious daughter of mine is up too.

I talked to my Uncle Vance today to find out how he was doing and to get him to get us some rooms at the local casino in Las Vegas ~grins~.  He said it would be no problem.

 

I am not looking forward to watching the pain of loved ones, but I want to be there for anyone, especially my mom ~smiles~.

 

I should call him back because I was kind of rushed earlier.

My buddy Art comes over to take a shower because his shower is out of wack, actually he is in a wheelchair so he can't get up to the working shower on the second floor of his house, anyways we go back to his house and his roomate gets out of prison today and comes over at 11AM already drinking.

 

Well he gets to drinking and blacks out and starts becoming very unerving, not that I showed it mind you, but I could see no one was home.  A demon from the abyss wreaked havoc upon his soul.  He breaks this $700.00 glass top oven and throws shit around that isn't even his.  I am trying to make sense to the guy but he is not himself.  I know what that kind of fear is like.  I use to impose it upon people daily during another life I had before my family.  It was really weird for me to watch this on the outside, as opposed to being the perpetrator I once was.  I never lost my calm.

 

I had to go get Art's kids at school and I guess Dave grabbed his balls and threaten to hit him.  This came from nowhere!  I can't believe I use to be like that ~takes another swig from St. Pauli Girl~.  I come back and Dave is already passed out upstairs.  I wasn't going to let him hurt Art.

 

What sucked is my daughter was with me and she is only four years old.  She had no idea what the hell was wrong with this guy, but if daddy wasn't sweating bullets, she wasn't going to either and just went about her daily life.  ~smiles~  That's my little girl.  Cause if'd he hurt her, he would be dead in less than three seconds, but I don't think he has it in him to hurt, only scare.

 

Anyways, Art's ex-wife came and picked up David, and then Julie came and picked Mariah and I up.  We are safe at home now, and the wife is making some yummy turkey salad sandwhiches.  My past life and horrid atrocities I have committed seem so surrealistic to the mellow'd individual I have become today.  All I can say is thank God and thank Marijuana!

 

So today was an interesting and potentially dangerous day, but it broke the normal daily routine up.  I just hope Dave gets some help, or finds the things that make him happy, before he really does something that he will regret, and something that will not be forgiven.  We all have FREEWILL which means excuses will no longer be tolerated for the imperfections of humanity.

Well I typed a two page letter to Disability today about why their medical panel is so stupid they can't figure out that I am dying ~chuckles~  I have lost all hope for the medical world.  They could cure everything but the money is not in the cure is it?

 

I was making good money doing something I liked and had my own business on the side that I made fifty bucks an hour when I was working at it.  It's not like I come crawling to the government for a handout, I have spent twenty five years working so that I can pay for someone else's hand out.  Like them goddamned Russians who come over here getting everything from housing to schooling free.  And anyone can argue this and that to me but it's still wrong for born Americans to be treated like shit while everyone criminal, drug addict and minority get a free hand out!!!  Now I need some real help and I am walking through endless swamp of beauracracy and red tape to get something that I need for my family.

 

Yeah I really like going from $20-$50/hr down to an amount of money not fit for a part time worker.  Yet HUD keeps building houses for drug addicted whores and illegal non-English speaking immigrants.  Wow what would it be like to have a system that ran efficently and fairly?  I'll never know, but what I do know is if I don't get some kind of money to help out soon I am going to go criminal on America ~grins~.  I'll make Osama look like a god damned disney character!!!

 

Well everyone cross your fingers that our moronic panel can actually read the lines since I put them in print for them, or perhaps I will have to break out the construction paper and crayons to draw the pencil pushing small penis disability guys a picture. ~sighs~

 

I don't even want to get started on how stupid doctors are ~grins~  They are nothing more than a bunch of over-glorified backyard mechanics that would sooner butcher you up than treat an illness ~sighs~.  These guys get paid from pharmecutical companies as well as HMO's for treating people like shit and not giving them the care they need.  I am not talking about $20 here $100 there, I am talking about tens of thousands a year to push certain drugs and to deny us needed tests.  I know there are some  good doctors out there somewhere, but they are probably in some shithole swallar fighting malaria and much scarier things without the proper techonology to do it.  The ones you see in buildings pushing patients through like water over a mill wheel I don't like.