God is everything and created everything.  He created the angels to serve him, including the infamous Lucifer.

1)     Since God create all the angels then he must of put rebellion into Lucifer, so either God made a mistake, or he isn’t all powerful….take your pick.

2)     Supposeably Lucifer amassed an army to fight God and his angels, if this is true how did Lucifer defy God’s creational programming?!  Are you telling me Satan had the power to override God’s programming and change it so that all these angels would follow him?  Or did God give him an army for this lame game?

3)     It’s all big game:  Like ants under the magnifying glass of a giant child we are at the mercy of an egomaniac who plays games and destroys the lives of beings much smaller than him in intelligence, spirituality and experience.  I call it the “Soul Collecting Game”.  It’s a big game to see who can get the most souls!

4)     The Christian God claims ultimate passiveness, yet all we do as a nation is murder and all Christians do is try and enforce their will upon the rest of the world!  Hell little kids are dying everyday in Serbia, Ireland, Kosovo, etc. over Christian denominational differences!

5)     Those who have lost faith in God and humanity will not necessarily go to Hell, albeit all the Christians who cause the schism in those who can’t believe in God will most likely pay dearly, however I don’t have the final word…I wish I did!  The point being a lot of self-righteous Christians who think they are doing stuff right won’t be going to the happy place they believe they will because of their inability to follow their own sacred writings.

6)     God gave us FREEWILL right?  To make our own decisions?  Then why does Christianity insist on shoving its values down everyone’s throat and try to enforce their will upon the rest of the world?  You defy God’s very plan by halting gayness, abortion, porn, drugs, etc…It’s not your fucking choice!  It’s mine, ours, and theirs!  If Christians just worried about themselves they would get more people to believe, and if not so what it’s their choice not yours!!!

7)     Do you think Jesus/God really wanted a Christian Coalition, a governing body of politics?  If you do then I think you better read you own fucking book a little bit better…

8)     I think that it is sad that I have found no Priest, Pastor, Minister, etc. to answer my questions, yet they can spew forth sermons trying to move their congregations to donate more money for their concrete establishments.  And I think if you read your Bible you will see that God/Jesus both talked about how stone was not the church!

9)     The Bible is considered a whole and pure sacred writing undefiled by man, yet the Bibles interpretations have changed numerous times taking out recipes that involved priests of God tripping on hallucinogenics and if you look at the Nazer Oil Recipe in Exodus of the King James Version it will become clear.  It calls for 250 Sheckles of Calamus.  Calamus is an extremely potent hallucinogenic…hmmmm

10)  Perhaps worshipping a God of war like Odin, Mars, Aries, etc. would better suit Christians, at least then they wouldn’t be hypocrites.  We have the power to stop all wars, but superiority of religion keeps that from happening…Christianity will be its own demise and you will live to see the Bible burnings…I mean fighting is fighting whether it is one Christian trying to force it’s values on another, or an entire Christian nation killing others…what ever happened to Matthew chapters 5-7?

My wife and I got into a huge fight last night and I left.  I came back later but couldn’t be around her out of fear I would do something insanely stupid.  I wanted to fucking kill her, but I didn’t…

When I am mortally wounded in my spirit or soul by someone I have two options…I can cry or I can get angry…well I am tired of being sad, so I am choosing violence and anger….Why shouldn’t I?

1)     My government tells me to kill certain people, but if I kill someone for my own reasons I go to prison…seems a bit hypocritical too me.

2)     I am told to withhold pleasure from myself and spend my money wisely while our government runs up a 7 trillion dollar debt while giving themselves ample raises and retirement benefits that only CEO’s of major corporations get!!!  They can’t spend money and wastefully let KBR, Halliburton, Carlyle Group, etc. continually rip us off, but since there is no money they will just fucking tax the middle class some more!!!

3)     Our government allows “stock speculators” to boost volumes to make more money while causing inflation to skyrocket and gas prices to soar!

4)     I’m told to be a good person and do the right things, yet every fucking day some politician in indicted/alleged of child molestation, embezzlement, fraud, etc.

If I am mentally retarded or fucked up it is because I am running out of the resources to rationalize/justify this shithole of a world we have!  Everyone is desensitized and apathetic to just about everything.  We are kept working hard and tired while our politicians dine on million dollar dinners at the same time lobbyist are stuffing their fucking pockets full of cash to vote for what they want instead of what the people want.

Are you people are fucking stupid?!  We the people have said we want Marijuana legalized in several cities (Portland, Denver, San Fransisco,etc.) and several states.  Denver had the highest minor marijuana arrests after it was decriminalized!!!  The government isn’t even fucking listening to you dumbasses ~laughs~ and still you do what they say!!!

They have given me Welburtin, Thorazine, Stellazine, valium, etc. in the attempts to make me fucking normal!!!  Those drugs made me worse and suicidal.  I finally find something that works for the Explosive Rage Disorder and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It keeps me from hurting people daily, but I am a criminal for doing it because pharmaceutical companies spend hundreds of millions of dollars a year insuring that people don’t get a harmless medicinal/recreation substance far safer than aspirin and definitely alcohol.  But because of special interest groups and apathetic folks who don’t give a shit about other people’s rights are the cause of my inability to get a good supply of medical marijuana!  Meanwhile the conservative propaganda machine feeds the reds lies that they suck graciously for fuel to add to the fire!  What ever happened to common sense?

And because I smoke Marijuana and it works the pharm companies are loosing thousands of dollars a year from me, if that were to escalate then you can see why the pharm companies can’t let the truth get out.  The essence of the matter that should really motivate people to a proactive state is that we the people are not being listened to and the government does whatever the fuck it wants because we are so diversified and apathetic no one really gives a shit about anyone else even though they pay plenty of lip service to the opposite view.

When did we (Americans) become so fucking stupid, weak and pathetic that we need the government to dictate every little facet of our lives for us…the worse part about it is this is suppose to be the land of the free and brave, but all I see is apathy and stupidity.

Now I know there are beautiful people out there because I know some.  Some of you are, but you are the minority.  The world really is a big piece of shit and you know it!

The 50’s were the height of America and it’s been in decline ever since.  We created great technologies and conveniences, yet we still have to work harder (now the whole fucking family has to work) than we ever did, and instead of taking time off with the family and playing a game of scrabble, monopoly, etc.  We just fill it up with more meaningless shit and now we just do more without any reprieve or sanctuary!

My dream would be to see a million people grab their guns and flush out the pentagon and put regular people like you and me in office.  People of integrity who can’t fucking be bought out!  People who actually give a shit about family, small business, etc. and not just flapping their fucking gums!

The only thing keeping me from going out and murdering the judge that denied my disability for Marijuana is my little girl.  No is here to watch her and I can’t leave her alone during the day, but I am finding it harder not to justify his murder…after all it’s no problem for him to financial fuck my family while resting in his nice house with his French linen ~sighs~.  Why should he lose sleep over the possibility of my putting my next employer or fellow employee in ICU?  Instead I am thinking I should painfully kill him…slowly!  Don’t try and talk me out of it…I haven’t made that decision, but I can feel the tension building in the back of my mind like I am about to do something insanely stupid, and if I am going to do that then I am going to take out the problem not innocent people!

I don’t understand why all the Russians come here and get free food, medical, transportation, education, housing, etc. and my family who has paid our taxes for decades must now suffer in our own country.

I tried to renounce my citizenship.  Someone told me I could get help that way ~snickers~!  I looked at other countries and no one wants Americans in their country, why is that?  So every fucking aspect of my life is a catch 22.

As far as I can tell at this moment there is no God and no one to help my family, but dead I am worth $1000/month, which my wife and kids will get…isn’t that pathetic?  Alive the government says I am worth nothing even though I have been overtaxed for decades, but dead I am worth something, even if I did get my disability it would only be like $6-700/month, so basically I am not even worth as much alive the way the government looks at it ~grins~.

If there are in Taliban out there that want to give me a nuclear weapon I will gladly use it on Washington DC, and if you think I am the only one who thinks like this you are wrong!!!  This country/world is creating a volatile situation that will come to a boil by 2012 and the entire world will not be recognizable as it is today.

So I ask you to look at you grandchildren, your children, those you say you love…then look at them with bloody burnt bodies, or crying and starving for months before they die.  This is what you wrought from your apathy, selfishness, and inability for people to see though the illusions.  The media keeps sensationalizing and spewing out misinformation by the gross!  This nation will reap what it has sewn…

The media will keep you all focused on sex and infighting with gays and druggies while they secretly take control in the night as you sleep…passing felonious executive orders, laws…

Have any of you noticed we have been breaking records in the weather department?  800 fires started by a lightning storm in Northern California!  Record tornadoes this year already and its only summer.  I can’t wait to see what fall brings ~sighs~

It is time for all of you/us to stand up and fight the real enemy, and too not be fooled by the media…we can change this, but it will take great sacrifice and patriotism to restore this country back to its rightful state.

I hope you find some kind of solace/happiness/contentment in what will probably be the last 3.5 years of your lives…there will be gnashing of teeth, men will run to the mountains seeking death and shall not find it!

Well a lot has happened both good and bad since I last posted…but way more bad!

My 15-year-old boy Malachi had to have emergency gall bladder surgery.  This is after the emergency room sent him away three times at the cheap prices of $200 a pop.  We still have thousands of dollars to pay the hospitals back and that is with insurance we pay $300/month for!!!

My adopted mom went into the emergency room with gut pains they sent her home…two days later she went septic and almost died….she was in Intensive Care Unit for several weeks!!!

I have lost complete faith in the medical system we have in America…the only thing they care about is money whether it be cutting cost or denying needed tests!!!

I am not allowed to smoke pot for my Asthma…they say Asthma never goes away…well mine did when I started smoking pot ~laughs~.  They want to sale you Symbicort, which may cause an asthma related death!?!?  They gave my dad Vioxx that crippled him for the rest of his life putting the burden of much work upon my poor ole mum!

All fucking doctors must DIE!

At this time I got a blood clot, fortunately it was only a superficial one, so blood thinners and exercise, which I do already ~chuckles~.  They weren’t even going to run any test to see if it was my Deep Vein Thrombosis?!  Had it been I could have had an embolism and died ~throws his arms up in the air~.  Again why should some fucking doctor care I’m not anyone he gives a shit about!

Disability has seen fit to deny my claim once again, yet I know people out there who function just great in society and they get disability with a lot less physical and psychological implications than I possess!  There is no standard!!!

The first couple of days after my denial were iffy to say the least…I had to be babysat because everyone knew I would drain our bank account, buy a gun and kill that fucking piece of shit judge!!!

Why should he lose any sleep?  I wouldn’t have to work with him and possibly kill or hospitalize him, but he has no qualms about forcing me into the workplace knowing that I am easily prone to violence when stressed…luckily the last two bosses were quick enough to outrun me, but now that I have been doing aerobics and strength training for the last 9 months I am not so sure the next person will be able to get away ~sighs~.

I wrote a letter to Robin Meade of CNN Morning Express telling her what the hell has been going on.  I sure hope they send a new team out here to embarrass the shit out of our Disability department and their conceited arrogance from upon high!

So now my family, which has been suffering for over 3 years, has no end in sight!  We will continue to suffer, as soon as the kids are out of school I will get a part time job until someone stresses me out and I try to kill them.  I’m doing the best I can ~sighs~, but I can’t see my family suffering any longer!!!

The worse thing is if I had gotten Disability I could straight to work and make up to $800/month.  Why do you have to be desolate to work?!  Why can’t you work part time and then they could evaluate your work performance…why is our government a piece of flaming shit?!  I so want to get a gun and just start fucking killing the Rich, Politicians, Religions, doctors, and many others!

I am worth $1000/month dead, but nothing financially alive…I can no longer provide for my family, which causes even more stress, so I have been raging in my berserker rage!!!  I know I am about to do something very stupid, so if I do I want you to scream out my story!!!

I have so lost my faith in God and humanity at this point I don’t even care about the future ~cries~ anymore!  All I can feel is hate, hopelessness, and generally rage, which I want to take out on humanity!!!

Today I am severely depressed and see no way out of this pit!