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7月30日 Secretum Ordo Omnimodus LegisIt has been a long week of sickness, pain and meditation. I have transcended yet another plane of consciousness. I thought I had topped out and become complacent, but the hierarchy of God(s) are not done with me. My part in this end of days is not over.
I have always used enlightenment to rise above petty emotions and society’s whims, fads, etc. I have always denounced “War” because it never seems to do anything but harm, now I see my fallacy in that belief. I must now trust in my training and knowledge of the “Powers that Be”. For I fight a war that is displaced from this reality and this war resides in the spiritual plane, which I prefer because everything is black and white there, unlike humanity.
My sick body comes from the scars of my past, and though they should never be forgotten it is time to move on, but how? I am not of this world though my flesh resides on this plane. My time here is almost done. I will miss those I love, but I have come here as the Buddshittva (for lack of a better word). And though my words fall on deaf ears I shall endeavor to shovel shit against the tide of this carnal plane until my dying day.
The Christian Anti-Christ was born June 6th of 1966 in a small suburb in Israel. This person will unite all the Middle Eastern countries against America. Muslims and Christians will create the Apocalypse out of fear, envy and naivety.
Today I understand the only way to truly save ourselves is to find “Love” and do away with dogmatic religious rhetoric and violence, even if we must use violence to end it. The wound in the Universal Fabric is growing daily.
I will talk to one of the disciples tomorrow and ask if he is ready to pass through the gate and take the torch. To carry on and traverse through the millions of planes to fight the good fight and end the wound created by ignorance of mankind.
I will be stepping down as the Grandmaster Arch-Magi (Hierophant of the Kabala). S.O.U.L (Secretum Ordo Omnimodus Legis) lives on even when I don’t ~smiles~. I grow weary of mankind and I am close to ending this parasitical infestation of humanity, unfortunately there are still some very beautiful people on this plane and I have promised as long as there are a number of enlightened beings on this world that I shall not destroy it. However, it would probably be more compassionate if I did, as some of those enlightened beings will surely be left here to suffer when the “Dark Lord Incarnate” appears to join the 10 nations of the Middle – East against America.
I know your probably thinking “Megalomaniac” right now ~winks~, but if you knew my infinite charm then you would know better ~smiles~. As my time grows closer to the great transition I cling to the void of oblivion living in pain and sickness so that I may “Awaken” the one who I prophesize! Suscitatio Unus Quisnam Ego!
I know my writing has been quite heavy the last few days, but I am doing all that I should and all that I was programmed to do. Angels are envious of humans because of “Freewill”(Solvo Mos), which means no excuses! ~smiles~. Some of us were not born with free will, instead we came here set upon a predestined(Praedestino) path to and end that will surely come in the next couple years. When the last of the Enlightened Ones are put to rest and all hope is lost.
Speak the words, the word is all of us….
Today’s song is from another group who unwittingly wrote prophetic music. Some never realize they are a tool, but then the God(s) work in ironic, mysterious, and miraculous ways…
Queensryche 4. No Sanctuary
7月29日 The Call to AwakenAmbition is a nice word for wanton obsession. It amazes me how people continue to blind themselves to reality by using words and playing the games that the cattle mentality of society play ~grins~.
Excuse me is a nice way of saying; “Get the fuck out of my way” ~smiles~.
Why do people even bother trying to keep secrets, especially from me ~chuckles~. If I can see your “Aura” and I have told you I can see it, then why lie?
It’s not like I haven’t been guilty of all these things at some point in my life, the difference is I continue to better myself and fight the demons that cause harm to other living things regardless of their status on this plane. I am diligent at containing my demons. The well of souls must stay sealed!
There is a wound in the “Universal Fabric” and the “Dark Lords” rape and pillage the resources of our planet/plane and it’s people. Brainwashing the masses to follow their every dictate. Greed and money taking over us all, it’s just a comical way the politicians don’t know ~smiles~. I am surrounded by hate, desperation and lost souls. I have fought a long hard war against the malevolent demonic entities and now I am tired and must rest, but who will take over in my stead?
I have only two disciples left who could (potentially) take over the reigns of the Hierophant of the Kabul. My journey has been long and filled with great joy and sorrow, for that is the test of life and I have failed in life while achieving a plane that few ever achieve. This in itself is a “Blessed Curse”. To see the disdain and death of our species in the next few years, all because they wouldn’t listen to their hearts, and those who are filthy let them be filthy still! Only the clean heart, the soul with a goal shall achieve some semblance of peace in this life ruled by the Dark Lords. ~sighs~.
This world would not be much of a test if it weren’t hard and didn’t teach the lessons needed for the next level of existence. It is sad too, because one by one and heart to heart we could refuse to do what our leaders and the rich elite tell us too, we have freewill. Yes sacrifice is needed for freedom but it not be unguided and violent as our leaders of the great-mechanized war machine force our children to kill each other.
God(s) (by whatever name you give them) are all the same. There are good ones and bad ones which all fall under a universal set of moral laws. So why do good religions insist on murdering each other?! ~bewildered look~. If Muslim Koran’s and Christian Bibles have the same universal moralities then why kill each other. The blindness of these extreme sects and converting Christians will be the death of us all!!! By 2012 our world will be no more. And we shall all be victims, when the missiles start flying in 2012 there will be no grocery stores, there will be no McDonalds. Those who die first shall be the lucky ones, but 1/3 of the world will die a slow lingering death as darkness from nuclear winter eradicates the eminence of those left to slowly fade in sickness and pain. ~weeps~.
I do not tell you these things to scare you. I tell you these things to “Awaken” you. But be it known that when you are awakened a whole new set of problems will plague you, but you will know of what I speak and you will see the horror and be unable to rationalize the existence of our race.
The great disasters have already started with the worst earthquakes, storms and Tsunamis. They are all on the rise and science perceives it to be global warming, if only it were that simple. In reality our “Earth” is a spiritual being and it can feel our darkness as it grows, as more people think of only themselves and not what actions can do to others. I fear it is too late, but I write this with the last shred of hope this old wizard has in hopes that someone will pick up the torch and share it with their neighbor, so on and so forth, if the wound is not closed in the next year our world will be unable to support our parasitic presence any longer.
I am very ill now and in much pain as I write this, I have earned this pain and it is mine, after all life is pain and suffering. It is how we deal with such darkness, such pain, such immorality that makes us who we are, a healer or a devourer?
The wound is a hunger that devours and when it touches another it blinds them to the realities of life and all they know is they need more. This material hunger cannot be satisfied and only seeks to cause death, death of our existence.
When God(s) made us in their image they gave us the will to create as God does. What we have failed to understand is that once touched by the demon of corruptibility, one can no longer see, as is evident by modern Muslims and Christians. They scream love and peace yet create war and death! These demons blind them with cloaks of self – righteousness and blind devotion to the Dark Lord.
It is easier to go through life with a frontal lobotomy causing a wake of destruction behind you, now and in the future. The succubus of “Rationalization” leads them down a road of the darkest light ~sighs~.
For those of you who can read and understand my words, you have already been awakened, now go out and heal our universe by doing good deeds, deny yourself pleasure and give to someone else. We can save this world. Will we? It is possible but not for much longer ~frowns~. And with that (steps off his soapbox) I have a song for the day that goes right along with what I have said. It is by my all time favorite band. I hope you will listen to it and read the words that I have put down…. Peace and Love is our only hope now.
Black Sabbath Lord of This World
You're searching for your mind don't know where to start 7月26日 Rest In Peace GrandmaHello Everyone,
Sorry I left ya hanging, this is probably the longest stint away from “Spaces” that I have had ~smiles~. My wife was on vacation, so I wanted to spend some time with her. We don’t need to be in the same room though; she just likes it when I am home. Usually I get in trouble if I leave my house and sometimes I have even been known to fight the entire police force ~snickers~.
My Nanda died yesterday. My mom and dad called me in the morning. I hadn’t gone to bed until 5AM, so my sleep was messed up and that Amitryptaline makes me groggy and unable to feel emotion. I am not sad that she died. I actually feel better that she is gone because she suffers no more, and now she can be back with the man she loved, my Papa.
I remember my Papa more than I do my Nanda. Well I think the memory that sticks out the most from my Nanda is she was a mean woman when you crossed her (she was awnry but normally very cordial). Once I hurt my brother and she beat me with a high heel and locked me in a closet for an hour. I am sure I probably deserved it. ~smiles~, so here is to you Nanda and Papa. We will be there soon to be with you again and have a good ole family gathering ~weepy smile~.
I have seen so much death, corruption, hypocrisy and stupidity that I don’t even know how to feel anymore ~weeps wearily~. It seems like I am the only one that sees the truth, but I know that is just arrogance (bad dark spirit).
I had a good friend named “Dick” in Atascadero, California. He turned me onto the Beattles back in the 70’s. My son doesn’t know why I don’t like listening to the Beatles, or why they make me cry. Dick took me in and took care of me and became a very good friend. Well one day everyone came home from work and the Beatles were playing but no one could find Dick. Finally someone went into his room and the whole place was covered in blood. He blew his brains out. ~frowns~.
One night we were frying on LSD in Santee, California. We were drinking beer, cranking tunes and having a really good time. This guy goes up the power tower and says he is going to piss on us. A second later he was struck by an arc from the power line. He fell four stories to his death. I still remember his body bouncing three feet up from the ground and making a crunch sound from all the bones breaking inside. His girlfriend was screaming bloody murder and the cops were going to be on their way….we call that a “Bad Trip” ~cringes~.
Another really good friend who I grew up with in Guam, San Diego, etc. Our dads always got stationed in the same place ~chuckles~. Anyways Eddy caught the clap in Tijuana (which is not unusual and they have STD’s that scare the shit out of penicillin!). The first time I met Eddy he kicked my ass ~chuckles~. One the reasons I got into Martial Arts, as a matter of fact. Plus in Guam we had a “Kill Holly Day” when all the Guamanians would run around the Island kicking the shit out of white people ~chuckles~. Anyways he got into “Meth” and it warped his sexuality and he might have had a gay affair (allegedly). When he came down he was unable to resolve the feelings within his soul and so……His mom comes home one day and her furniture is covered with plastic and he laid down newspapers. He made it really clean for his mom, but he blew his head off too.
I could tell you what went on when I was manufacturing drugs for four years too, The gunfights, the loss of life, and the hypocrisy of our government, but I get nervous enough about my past coming back to haunt me because I am not the same person then that I am now…for when the man comes around my soul will be purified ~smiles~………. 7月22日 Saturday of InsightI have often found it amazing the way God(s) talk to me. It could be music, video games, other people’s conversation, the radio, etc. Keeping the soul open so I can listen for instruction however it may come. Lately I have been learning the doctrines of good, evil, law, chaos and neutrality. I have already aligned myself with the evils and the lights, now my alignment shall be the balancer of these forces.
Julie’s (my wife) birthday is in a couple days, so she went to Seattle to watch a Mariner’s game. I don’t like driving eight hours to watch a stupid two-hour game of people who get paid way more than their worth! I do not condone, nor do I watch sports, with the exception of Rally Car Racing, NASCAR and American Football, but if the football players ever go on strike again I will toss them out as well. Not that the computer is better, but why should I pay for paraphernalia that keeps a sport going when all I see is decadence, selfishness, etc. People are starving all over the world including America and all these assholes can think about is whining because they only got 10 million instead of 20 million ~sighs~.
Well now we are shipping missiles to Israel, so that means the Hezbollah will soon be creating it’s own kind of terrorism on Americans and whoever supports our views. The people of Gaza love the terrorist groups because they bring them food, water and rebuild their schools and buildings. It does far more than the government. Israel is as evil as America killing whole families in the dead of night because they are suspected terrorist. That’ll be awesome when it happens here in America, not that isn’t already the news just never seems to figure it out and why should they? The same rich people who own the big TV networks pay them.
The funniest people I find are the dumbass blind ones who claim to worship Jesus but their actions say Lucifer, Satan, Dispatcher, Azmodeus, Hades or whatever name you want to call it by. The first thing Christian Americans do is scream kill the bastards, even though Jesus said to be kind to your enemies and turn the other cheek. They believe everything they see on the propaganda rich news stations and they will not sway from their blindness, nor look at the facts without bias. They are incapable of it. Alas, my wife and her family belong to the Assembly of Gods church, which is very Luciferian in nature even though they wave their hands in the air screaming Jesus’s name. Oh well, better them than me. I have been the Buddshittva for too many cycles. I will not come here again once I leave ~smiles~.
I have been playing a lot of Star Wars “Knights of the Old Republic II” I am on my seventh time and I am still seeing new things ~chuckles~. The playability of the game is awesome. First person shooter games are lame when it comes to story changes and pivotal plots. That is why I like RPG’s they actually make you think instead of just running around killing shit. First person shooter games only last a couple days, RPG games can last months for the normal player, now obsessive compulsive ones like me are another story ~chuckles~.
Anyways, I hope this finds you all well… 7月13日 Unwrapping the VeilOh have I been sick! But I think I am finally getting better after two weeks of vomiting, passing out, coughing, etc. And all had a good time. The upside is that I have probably lost 30lbs from being sick the last two weeks.
I think I figured out part of the problem and I am surprised I didn’t think of it earlier, My medications, especially heart and blood pressure are based on me using 2 grams of Marijuana a day. Well I haven’t been able to afford it since our grow room was shut down. Anyways, Marijuana raises blood pressure and since I haven’t been smoking any the last couple weeks my blood pressure dropped dramatically adding to the cascading immune failure. So I took one less pill tonight and if I feel dramatically better tomorrow then I guess that makes it a theory. And then I can work on the science of it ~smiles~.
Malachi called today and said he saw over 500 buffalo free roaming and that his grandma almost hit a huge Elk. They went to the Crystal Caves today. He was happy because the hotel had a swimming pool. I sure miss him, but I hope he’s learning that the world is not such a small place. My dad was in the Navy so moving was just par for the course ~smiles~. My son has the solid foundation I longed for as a child and teenager. He will have lifelong friends from elementary school through his life.
The lightning knocked our power out last night so Julie had to reset the clock. It was just long enough to screw everything up and make it blink 12:00 ~grins~. We had a Super Cell move through the valley today. No tornadoes though, that is good ~winks~.
Some people believe enlightenment is turning away from uneasy or uncomfortable situations, but in fact it is how we face these dilemmas and work our way through them with grace that is true enlightenment. Kind of like the wedding vows of; in sickness and health, so many fair-weathered friends disappear at the sign of depressing news or sickness. I think that is sad. I can no longer justify turning away, perhaps that is because I am dying and it means that much more too me. Those who have not or do not face the perils that build character are incapable of dealing with such aspects in life.
I heard one of the most horrific things tonight. Some Christian (the Colbert Report) said God wiped out the sinful city of New Orleans for a reason ~gasps~. I find it hard to believe that there were no good people living in that metropolis?! Perhaps God did tell them to leave but technology has blinded many to the truth, so to speak? ~shrugs~. Enlightenment is ordinary reality, not to say it isn’t precious and rare ~smiles~.
The world is a stage and we are merely players…
Today’s song is by a group that has been around since the mid 80’s. It has become one of my favorite Cryptic Metal Bands over the years. My wife thinks they are Satanic, but she can’t hear the words…I tell her that is because God(s) doesn’t want her to hear them…they are not for her to hear, of course I try to tell her that Lucifer (for lack of a better name) lives in her church and blinds it’s worshippers ~snickers~. So with no further ado…
Candlemass Nightfall 1987 Well of Souls
I bind unto myself 7月9日 Dying Piece By PieceSorry I haven’t been writing or getting to anyone’s sight ~sighs~.
My immunity system has once again been compromised. I have been drinking well over 64oz of water and Gatorade a day, and I am still dehydrated, unfortunately my kidneys hurt. I have had a fever for over three days now. This morning it was 102.5, so it is getting worse daily ~frowns~. So now my heart is acting up too. It’s probably Murphy wanting to take me out since I want to live ~grins~. I just don’t want to be sick and in pain anymore ~sighs~.
There is nothing the doctors can do until I pass out and 911 comes, then they will put me on IV’s for a while.
I am supposed to be journaling daily on what is going on with my body because of the pills I take. I take two that cause seizures; fortunately I haven’t had one though.
I only got three hours of sleep this morning because of the pain, fever, etc. I took some Ibuprophin and got into a horrifying cold shower, and then alternating it from screaming hot to freezing cold. It is a Native American technique I picked up while hanging out with Colville Tribe.
I watched the news this morning. It looks like Kim Jung is threatening America with nukes, as a prophet of God(s) I know the nuclear war will not happen until 2012, but several world disasters must come first in the near future. Everyone hates us and I don’t really blame him or her. To the rest of the world we probably seem like a bunch of hypocrites, which is generally true, but there are many of us fighting the administration to bring our loved ones home.
Malachi is leaving with my mom and dad to Mt. Rushmore and the unfinished Chief Crazyhorse. They will be gone for 5 – 6 days. I let him borrow my Canon Digital. I sure hope he brings it back because I don’t have another $500 to spend on a new camera right now ~smiles wearily~
Sorry my post is so distressing and depressing, if and when I make it out of this hole I will resume my normalcy, cheerful, happy and spiritual self, please bare with me as this could be a while. A couple years ago when I was first diagnosed with an Immune Deficiency Problem (not related to AIDS, but it ends the same ~sighs~.)
I’ll see you guys as soon as I can…
Love, Adam 7月5日 4th of July Brings Clarification to the SoulHi Everyone J
I had a party at my apartment complex yesterday. We put down quite a few cases of domestic beer, now you all know normally I don’t drink that American Swill, but it was the 4th of July, so domestic beer was the beverage of the day ~winks~, and we drank a ton of it, and by a ton I don’t mean one or two cases, I mean we filled up the 55 gallon recycling bin with crushed beer cans.
We had two confronting super cells last night and I stood in the rain and lightning yelling like a crazed wizard with my staff in the air. Calling the lightning to come take me home to my loved ones/ancestors. I was on Tornado watch. It would appear over the last decade that we are under a major climatic shift. We never use to get Tornados In Washington.
With my staff in the air and lightning crashing all around me, everyone was prodding me to come in, every once in a while a couple people would come stand with me in the hail while the lightning was crashing around us only to have fear over take them and drive them back to safety. I stayed out there until this one bolt came down about 300 feet in front of me and split my ears instantaneously. I guess I finally figured out they weren’t going to shoot off the fireworks ~frowns~ and since I braved the furry of nature longer than anyone I went in to take a nice warm shower and get the cold chill from my bones.
The wife was angry because she hates my suicidal tendencies, but few understand the heart and mind of a Shaman Barbarian ~chuckles~, a Gnostic one to boot. Why should I have fear? I know myself; I know God and I fear nothing of death for myself. My only fear is watching those around me die before me, but my mom has said I cannot go before her, so I will see what I can do about staying alive ~chuckles~. Even though it goes against any/every grain of my fibrous being.
My perception through God(s), experiences and being a worldly person (literally my dad was in the Navy ~chuckles~) I have come to learn that if you fear death even in the slightest, then you are endanger of hellfire (per se) and judgment. Especially if you are a Christian, Buddhist, Jew, or Muslim.
No one portrayed more of a fearless love and devotion to God(s) than did the Norsemen. They lived to die, and every aspect of their religion was a mirrored spirituality for their lifestyles. I think that the 13th Warrior with Antonio Banderaz was about as realistic as the Norse-ways could be for the amount of history and anthropology we have dug up.
So I guess the moral of today’s story is; if you have fear in your heart, than you have not done the things, which your moral fiber requires, for you to surpass the judgment after this life… 7月1日 NASCAR Daytona Night RaceTony Stewart one at Daytona today, YAY! I’m actually a 17 Matt Kennseth fan, but I have loved Tony’s driving for the last several years he has been in the Winston Cup ~smiles~. I was rooting for him when he won the 2003 NASCAR championship, so he holds a place in my heart.
Is it me or has anyone else noticed how cool number 24 Jeff Gordon has been since he got divorced? He use to be a whining sniveling bitch, but his attitude has really changed for the better in the last couple of years ~smiles~.
David and I got good and sloshed while watching NASCAR and playing our music. I love a night race, especially Bristol.
I am still getting tired easy, so I am finding it hard to type a lot… |
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